My Engagement is Messed Up – Part 2 – Too late to break up

by Musleh Khan

As Salam alaykum warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
Brothers and Sisters! My engagement is messed up, here’s part two. You’ve invested so much time; so much money; so much efforts; the wedding has been planned; the Nikah is set all the invitations have been sent out but there’s only one problem one of you or both of you are not happy, the relationship just doesn’t feel right but because all of the plans have been put in place the families are happy everything is set the wedding dress has been bought he has bought tuxedo or whatever it is he’s going to wear.
You realize that there’s so much pressure there so many pieces that are put together that you can’t break up at this point, even though you don’t get along you just agree all the time things don’t feel right there’s no Rahmah there’s no love and mercy in that relationship you decide to go through with it anyway, because it becomes something symbolic, it becomes something that Eh well look what are people going to say, what are people going to talk about even the parents they put this pressure on you that what are people going to think about that you guys are breaking up one month before the wedding date.
just because you guys can’t get along don’t worry In Shaa Allah when the wedding happens things will work its way out now this again is a very difficult position to be in and quite frankly it’s very immature for you to think this way because at the end of the day , Allah SWT told us that the two main ingredients for a relationship to work, is Allah, puts mawatta and Rahmah and He tells you why – so that you can both find Sakinah and tranquility; tranquility especially within her you need to find us in that relationship or just simply not going to work
these are not things that just suddenly sprout out of nowhere once the marriage happens and we’ve seen so many marriages fall apart because they began in this particular way just pressure from every corner to get married so they do get married and there is problems and turmoil right from day one and they have to live with this and then things get more complicated because children start to fall into the picture and it becomes even more of a mess.
My brothers and sisters, and especially those of you who are engaged pay attention to the signs; pay attention to all of the disagreements that you have; how many times you guys disagree; how many times you guys are arguing; how many times you guys get into these different arguments and fights and can’t seem to resolve them and all those people that want you two to stay together except the both of you.
These are important because Allah SWT gives us a mentality to consider and to think about but sometimes in life there are things that might appear pleasing to you but Allah SWT has put great evil in them. Allah also says there are things that you might love that Allah has put evil in them or the opposite or the contrary is also true that there are things that you might hate but Allah SWT has put great in them. Allah has complete knowledge of everything and you don’t at the end of the day what this teaches you is that at the end of the day you need to have something tangible to work with. You need to have signs that things are going okay in shaa Allah ta ‘Ala that way you can see potential in the marriage in shaa Allah Ta ‘ala.
So again brothers and sisters food for thought something to think about really assess your relationship don’t get caught up in all of the fantasy all the love and the emotion and really stick to this as much early as you can and really pay attention to one another pay attention to each other’s personalities pay attention to even the tone of voice how things are being addressed when you get upset when there’s an argument how you address each other what kind of tone and language you use your views with one another these are the things that are going to paint a picture that when the real problems happen in the marriage how they’re going to be dealt with. So may Allah SWT put barakah in your relationship and make it easy for all of you. Amin. To be continued tomorrow.

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